Vibrators: What They Are and How to Use Them
Unlike other popular vibrators, which you use on yourself, a remote control sex toy is one whose settings can be changed by someone else. It’s natural for individuals to feel apprehensive or shy about engaging in public play. Open communication and gradual exploration can help partners overcome inhibitions and discover new levels of intimacy. Start with small-scale activities, such as wearing a discreet vibrator on a low setting during a leisurely stroll. Alcohol may help ease initial nerves, but moderation is key to maintaining control and enjoyment. As is the case for many women, orgasming during sex ain’t easy for me, and I thought this revolutionary vibrator might have the potential to change that.
Whether you prefer a gentle hum or a more intense pulsation, you can tailor the experience to your liking. Control the speed and strength of the vibrations to find the perfect level of intensity for your needs. Richards recommends this classic toy, which he considers “the gold standard of vibrators,” for anyone who wants to introduce strong sensations into their sex life, regardless of their gender or anatomy. “If you find [it] a bit intense, using it over underwear is a way to enjoy the buzzing sensation on clits and cocks without excessive direct stimulation,” he suggests.
It’s not likely that one particular pattern will blow your mind more than the others, but some women may find that they have decently strong preferences. If you feel a little baffled about all the options, just stick with the constant vibration pattern. Smile Makers The Firefighter Intense Clitoral Vibrator is a uniquely-shaped clitoral vibrator extending the vibration to the labia for a broader stimulation.
The Cherry vibrator was absolutely my favorite item of the two I tried. It has the utility of a great sex toy wrapped in a fun, irreverent package. It’s an inconspicuous item, too—you could leave it out on your shelves or as part of your decor, and honestly no one would blink. A lot of rose-shaped clitoral stimulators are designed to sit comfortably in the hand vibrators, and taper, so that the part that you’re using for suction isn’t uncomfortable against you.
“Some like to tap [external vibrators] back and forth on the glans, clitoral shaft, and labia,” Juliana Hauser, PhD, a Lexington, Kentucky-based marriage and family therapist, previously told Allure. You always want to buy a toy made with body-safe materials like stainless steel, silicone, and borosilicate glass. Silicone toys are the most popular but always remember to pair them with water-based lube to avoid breaking down the material. Few things are more disappointing than receiving a new sex toy only to discover that it doesn’t work for you. One way to reduce the odds of this happening is to buy a vibe that has at least 5 different intensity settings, so that (hopefully) even if some of them don’t work for you, others will. Some vibrators also have patterns, such as pulsing or wave-like vibrations, which can make the toy even more versatile.
Add some water-based lube to the tube, and you’ll have an experience that’s meant to simulate what I can only describe as a post-blow job handjob on steroids (thanks to the stroker’s six vibration patterns). In a nutshell, that’s the Maude Vibe, which is why it has been noted as a favorite of not just one, but two Mashable reporters. It only has one button to turn it on and off and sort through the three vibration speeds. Its design is frankly stunning (and we don’t use this word for just any old vibrator; this one was literally featured in the MoMA Design Store), and its simplicity makes it shine.
You may want to do some research to pick a vibrator that will satisfy your needs, although many vibrators have a variety of possible uses and vibration strength settings. The Ruby Glow Massager contours to your body—one side has raised ridges that you can grind your vulva against, while the other features a smooth nub that targets your perineum. Each side has its own motor, so “you can either rock back and forth along the toy , or simply sit down on it and let the vibrations do all the leg work,” Finn tells SELF. The Ballerina stays easy to maneuver in any position and can even rest between two bodies without you holding it there. It has 12 different settings, two simple buttons, and is quiet (even at its strongest). I try to keep things simple and stick with vibrators that are USB rechargeable either with USB-A or USB-C.
(In addition to, you know, your hand.) It seems like they would the natural addition to your sex life. As most vibrators are app-controlled, it’s easy to give your partner the ability to control them remotely—an excellent way to add new thrills to any long-distance relationship. As Carol Queen, sex educator and staff at Good Vibrations says, panty vibes can also be a smart assistive device for anyone who doesn’t have great hand strength or motor control. Nicely, panty vibrators work as external vibrators sans underwear, too, with various vibration patterns and strengths. The best panty vibrators (and vibrating panties) slide inside underwear or are built-in, making for delicious, hands-free partner play.
